Throughout the Years
by livstrong
Summary: Broken as she may be, Lily Truscott would always be Joe's Best Friend. LOE.


**Age 7 - Recognizing the Tickle Sensation**

"_Joe! No, Joe, No!" seven year old Lillian Truscott yelled, her small hands on her hips. She looked defiantly on at the black haired boy, who was sitting on swings, pumping his legs fast. But it wasn't working; the boy named Joe wasn't going anywhere._

_A whimper of frustration escaped his lips. "Li__lyyyyyy"_ he whined. She sighed and hopped off her swing, which wasn't moving. The little girl named Lily pushed her blonde hair out of her face, sighing and walking behind the boy named Joe.

"Okay, Joe. You gotta be real good to get high without any pushes and since you're not good, I'm gonna push you. Okay?" she said, her voice loud and confident.

"'Kay," Joe nodded. He felt her small hands on his back, as his body lifted slightly. A tingling sensation filled him, making him feel ticklely all over. The young boy thought it was just that he was moving and his body didn't register it at first.

She pushed a few more times, not getting very far or high. "Okay," she said, coming to the side of Joe and pushing her hair out of her face again. "Now pump your legs, like I showed you last recess."

Joe started to feebly pump his legs, but it was no avail. "No, Joe!" the blonde girl said.

Joe looked at her, becoming irritated. It wasn't his fault he couldn't get it right.

"Pump your legs faster!" she said, rounding behind him and giving him a little push on his back. Again, another round of ticklely feelings erupted in his body. Bending his knees more than he was before, Joe realized with joy that he was swinging.

He was swinging.

"I told you, you could do it!" Lily cried triumphantly.

She hopped on her swing, quickly pacing her swinging too.

**Age 12 - Realizing the Differences**

"What the heck?!" Joe gawked at Lily, who had returned for a four week summer camp. He hadn't seen her since April, and it was now July. He has been running around the house all week, his ecstatic mood unable to tame itself.

But when Lily entered the room, she looked different.

Her hair had been cut. She now had bangs, like grown up bangs. It was kind of weird, Joe thought to himself, how yellow her hair was. But it wasn't a bad yellow.

She was taller, almost as tall as him. (but he was only 5'1, so was she really that tall?).

"Hey Joe!" she said, shrugging off her shirt to reveal a tank top. Oh My God. Joe's heart just about stopped. What was this? What was going on? Who was she?

Lily had boobs. Boobs?! This can't be right, Joe conceded with himself. Girl's had boobs. And Lily Truscott, aka, his bestest friend in the whole wide world, was not a girl.

She sat down beside him and plugged in a controller, popping a chip from the bowl in between them. She seemed quite oblivious to Joe's large, puppy looking eyes filled with confusion.

Lily wasn't like the girls at his school, as giggly and pink and booby. No, she definitely wasn't. So why did she have those things on her chest?

A lot of things didn't make sense to Joe.

Lily just couldn't be a girl. She just couldn't

**Age 14 - Knowing When to be There**

There were tears in her eyes, but they didn't fall. She sat on the folding chair, the brisk wind hitting her face harshly. Her dress itched, all black and dramatic, but she didn't scratch the itch. No, she let it sit there. And itch. And itch. And itch.

Fuck, she scratched it.

Her hair was pulled up in a pony tail, like she liked it. She always called her Honey Baby, Honey Child, because her hair was like liquid, golden honey. All luscious and blonde. Now she can't even think about her, and that hurts.

Lily feels people talk to her, feels people stare at her and say things, but she's not looking and she's not listening. All she can see is her face. Fuck, she's tired.

There's a comforting feeling when an arm wraps around her, walking her to her seat in the front row. She's back sitting in that folding chair again, the wind hitting her face again. And her dress itching.

Joe removes his arm from her body, and feels the warmth leave her soul. Dramatic. It's an outdoor funeral, in a cemetery. How New York of them. But this is New Jersey, so I guess it's the same thing.

Lily doesn't realize everything is over and done with until Joe's taking her hand and pulling her up, as she leans into him.

"You tired?" he asks her as they make they're way to his house. She nods as they walk home in their funeral attire.

Joe tucks her into his own bed, the batman sheets reminiscent of when she was younger and happier. He's walking out of the room, almost gone when she realizes she needs him.

"Wait, don't go." she whispers, and he hears her. She reaches her arm out and grabs him, not forcefully, but he falls on the bed next to her.

"I won't go anywhere."

She's asleep before she can hear these words.

**Age 15 - Seeing the Signs of Self - Destruction**

Joe watches as his best friend, Lily, leaves her house again. He's on her door step with a pizza and his Chemistry text book when the door flies open to present her. He Hadn't even knocked. She's all made up in swanky clothes Joe doesn't really like and has her make up caked on.

Lily looks like she's surprised to see him, and he thinks wryly that she probably is; she probably forgot all about the study plans they had.

"Joe," she states.

"Lily," he retaliates back. But he's weak; he's tired of this.

"I was just going out with some friends -" he knows who she's talking about. Lily's going out to get drunk with Miley and some other girls from school. Joe laughs bitterly when he used to reffer to them as the giggly, pink, booby girls. Now Lily's one of them, and he resents that.

"That's fine. I can wait." he states calmly. He watches her as she tries to come up with a way to weasel her way out of this, to make him go back home where he belongs. She's shutting him out because she knows he hates what she does. She's right.

"No, really, I'll be home really late -"

"I'll stay up." he says, his voice calm and unemotional. But he's reeling in sadness and anger inside.

"O - Okay." she says and lets him in. He puts the pizza in the fridge, and when he turns around, she's already gone.

Lily comes back five hours later, two in morning. Joe hadn't slept yet. The door slammed and she stubble in, giggling to herself quietly. Joe quickly rushed to Lily's disheveled, slut like form. He wraps his arm under her and walks her up the stairs as she giggles and sway. Like's she happy.

But Joe knows she's far from it.

Lily pukes in the toilet as he holds her hair, soft like and colored like honey. Tears run off the tip of her nose as she retches. Her giggles cease, and the rant begins. Usually it's about a loser boyfriend Joe doesn't like or how Joe's so up tight about everything.

But this time, it's not.

"I miss her," Lily moans and Joe's body goes frigid. "I miss my mommyyyy."

She collapses into sobs on the floor next to the toilet. Joe sighs and flushes it, picking her up and taking off her shoes and dress. Joe doesn't blush when she's left in her bra and underwear; he's done this too many time to be bothered. He tucks her into bed and she mutters and rolls over, asleep.

Joe wishes he could stop her. But he doesn't really know how.

**Age 16 - Giving in to Temptation**

Joe hasn't talked to her in ages - not since she stood him up for their study planning once again to party. Not since she sobbed about her late mother. Joe says it's for the best, but somewhere inside of him he knows he can't handle anymore heartbreak.

It's too much. Lily is too much.

But she's all he thinks about. He sees her at school, everyday, laughing and giggling with Miley and the rest of those girls. He ignores it as much as he can, but it never really works. He stays in every night and throws himself into school to try and impress his dad.

But Nick's the smart one. Joe could never fill Nick's brainiac shoes. Lily would understand how much that hurt Joe. But Lily isn't who Joe remembered. Lily's a lot different.

There's a knock at the door, a soft, small, weak knock. Joe's flying towards the door, because it's late and he doesn't want to wake his parents.

It's Lily, and she's soaking wet.

Joe's too stunned to say anything for a second, before he jumps into action and pulls her inside. She's shivering and thin and her honey blonde hair is dirtier blonde than he remembered. He grabs a towel from the hall closet and wraps it around her, before going into his room and grabbing some of his old, smaller clothes.

She doesn't say anything, doesn't look at him when she comes out in his old Spiderman shirt and a pair his sweatpants.

He's on edge, too anxious to sit down, to angry to calm himself.

"Joe," she breaks the silence, and again, he's too stunned at how weak her voice is to say anything.

"Lily," he says. He doesn't say anything else for a while as they stand in his mother's kitchen, her hair dripping onto the linoleum. "What are you doing here?"

"Joe, I'm sorry," her voice cracks and she breaks into a cry. He rushes over and puts both arms around her. Joe could never stand to see Lily cry.

"I'm so, so, sorry," she whispers to him and he believes her. Joe's looking into her eyes for another second before her lips press up against his.

At first, he's shocked but soon he's responding quickly. It feels good, as her cold hands creep up his shirt, a tickly feeling erupting in his body. He pushes her up against the counter aggressively, continuing to kiss her fiercely.

Suddenly, he pulls away. This is Lily. His Lily.

"No. This isn't right," he says quietly and she nods, defeated. He takes her hand and leads her upstairs, putting her in his bed.

She's tucked around in the batman sheets, reminding her of innocent and happier times. "You're my best friend, Joe." she mutters to him.

"You're my best friend, Lily."

But she keeps a firm grip on his arm when he tries to stand up and leave, pulling him to the bed.

Her eyes flutter to a close, but Joe continues to watch her.

Broken as she maybe, Lily Truscott was still his best friend.

**Age 17 - You Against the World**

But maybe, Lily thought, it was right. Maybe this was it.

Joe's lips found her's again, attacking her hungrily. They're best friends, but now they're more than that. Are they?

She feels his hands run through her honey blonde hair. Her backs up against the wall, his hands on either side of her. His lips run down her neck as she emit's a small moan.

Before she knows it, Joe's shirt is missing. And so is her's. But she doesn't really know it, because all she can think about his Joe touching her, and how good it feels.

She's finally got him; finally got what she always wanted. But Lily knows she doesn't really have it, because they aren't dating. He's dating a girl at school that's perkier and prettier than she is, and she's dating a guy that's more commanding and popular than Joe is.

His knees hit the back of her bed as he falls and she climbs on top of him, sitting on his hips. She bends down and covers his chest in tiny butterfly kisses as he hands run through her hair; like liquid gold.

She shouldn't be doing this, but Lily won't stop.

His jeans are off and her shorts are discarded and he unhooks her bra with slightly trembling fingers. It should mean this much. They weren't dating. They weren't in love. Right? She keeps eye contact with his face as his eyes wide at the sight of her chest and she slips her hands around the waistband of his boxers, before slipping them off.

Now it's her turn to stare. Her underwear slide off with ease as she positions herself and he looms over her.

"You're sure?" why is he asking her this? It should be a moment of heated passion, but it isn't. Lily feels the sensitivity roll off Joe. She nods and he pushes in. Her eyes squeeze shut in discomfort before he picks up pace, and it doesn't feel so bad after all.

Actually, it feels kind of good.

**Age 19 - Thinking You're Smarter than Before**

Joe sees her at the park by their old houses in New Jersey. It's his first summer back from College, but he wasn't expecting to see her. Joe hadn't see her since a few days after they slept together.

He runs his hands through his hair, which is longer. The summer sun reflects of his shiny golden hair, which is about the only thing that hasn't ever changed about her. He walks over to her and sits down on a swing next to her.

Lily knows it's him before she even has to look over.

"Joe," she breathes, a small smile capturing her face. God, she was even more beautiful.

"Lily," he says to her, "Back from College?"

"Never left. Taking it locally," she says and he feels uncomfortable, only a little. Like he left her. And in a way, he did.

"How was your year?" she asks, but he could see the light in her eyes breaking, the blue becoming darker and darker as the time he occupies passes on.

"Lily," he says quietly, "Lily, look, I'm sorry."

She shakes her head violently, the large tears flipping off her face and hitting his forearms. "You left. Your family. And Wyckoff. And everyone." she mutters, the salty tears thick in voice.

"Lily, they knew I was going to college and it was just a matter of time until -"

"You left me. Without a single word." she says, and he's stops mid-sentence. Her voice wavers painfully and bitterly. "Not even Sorry."

"Lil," he tries again, reaching out to touch his best friend. She jerks away, rattling the swing chains.

"Please, Joe. Why did you even bother coming to talk to me? I don't mean anything to you."

Joe doesn't know what hurts more: that he's making her cry two minutes into the conversation, or that she seriously thinks she doesn't mean anything to him. Joe didn't realize how much he hurt her, just like back in Sophomore year, when she began drinking after her mother died. He watches as she get up off the swing and starts to walk away.

"Because I love you, Lily." he says quietly, and she freezes up. He expects her to keep walking, and ignore him like he didn't say anything. But instead, she whirls around to face him, her golden honey hair shining in the sunlight.

"What the hell, Joe?" She spats angrily, causing him to flinch at her vicious tone. "You love me? After all these years of being best friends - of our ups and downs and the shit we've been through, and then you leave me - now you tell me you love me?"

"Look, Lily -"

"Save it, Jonas." she mutters angrily, but his insides lighten considerably when she gives a half grin. She throws her hands up in the air and sighs. "I love you too. But I've loved you all along."

He smiles at her and stands up, her lips pressed against hers. Joe thinks of the time when they were seventeen. And Thirteen. And ten. And seven.

"Remember when you taught me how to swing?" he laughed, and she looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah," She mutters and they both sit on the old swings again.

"I think I can get it without you pushing me." He grins at her, pushing his long legs off the ground and beginning to pump. She scoffs and starts to swing, twice as high as he was in half the time. He looks over to her and smiles again, her honey hair in the wind again.

"Jump!" she giggles and he wrenches himself from the swing before landing on the grass. His cringes in surprise when her body lands on top of his, her eyes staring into his. Joe Jonas smiles, a secret smile.

Lily Truscott might love him.

Joe Jonas knows he'll always love her, right done to that tickly sensation she gives him.

**My First Fanfiction. Please Review if You Like IT!!**


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